We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
