so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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