what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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