all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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