would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
