You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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