Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
