I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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