Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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