My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
