Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
