I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
