I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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