We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
