STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just want nice things and good sex
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Randomize
