tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
