is your mom at the bar?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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