Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
