I must be too annoying 4 u.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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