her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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