I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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