My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
