and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
