if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
