whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
