White coat. Heels.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
