First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
