Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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