After last night, I could never be a politician.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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