I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
