Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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