I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
