Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
