nut hugger
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
