never play flip cup with pint glasses
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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