my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
