I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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