sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
