Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
