We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
