Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
