I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I'm really busy with my period
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