ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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