Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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