So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
