I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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