i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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