Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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