"it" just moved
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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