sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
