Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I seem to have left my pride at pride
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize