sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i came on her dog
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
