So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
