I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
