Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
