At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
